Truth is Truth

"You, O LORD, will not withhold Your compassion from me; Your lovingkindness and Your truth will continually preserve me." - Psalm 40:11 This is a sometimes monthly column concerning the truth of Christ Jesus and the issues that face our world as published in various newspapers and journals by Pastor Dave Seaford. You can return to the home page of the church by going to:

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Location: Redway, California, United States

Sunday, August 01, 2004

And a Man Shall Leave His Father and Mother...

Recently I had the extreme pleasure of being both the officiating pastor and the father of the bride in the most Christ centered wedding that I have ever performed. It was an emotional time that on several occasions left even me speechless – not just because it was my daughter that was the bride, but because as never before I saw with spiritual eyes the full and beautiful reality played out before me of Christ (the bride groom) and His bride (the church).

Three times this summer I received calls from people I did not know wanting to be married in a church, but really did not care who married them nor the Biblical meaning of marriage. Each time I asked them if they were Christians and each time I was greeted by a long pause that told me beforehand what the answer would be. Each time they heard the Gospel message and each time it fell on deaf ears.

God instituted and created the marriage of two people brought together by Himself. The Scriptures clearly indicate that marriage is a Holy institution, ordained of God and is to be the representation to the world of Christ and His church. A non-Christian marriage is by definition a union without Christ, and thus not a marriage at all but a legal contract that provides nothing more than a civil union. … close enough for government work (maybe), but certainly not Holy and certainly not God’s plan for the people of His creation.

Therefore, I will not marry two people who are not both Christians and who are not walking with the Lord daily.

Marriage is not a bi-phonic relationship. That is to say that it is not simply a mater of teaching two people to sing harmony. It is rather a tri-une relationship where God is the initiator and center of all that the marriage is in each moment of every day. Whether it is running the children to soccer practice for the third time this week or going to the store for a loaf of bread – in all things Christ is yielded to as He “directs” our path (Proverbs 3:6). Christ is the magnificent in the very center of the mundane. He is the answer to all of life’s most perplexing and most petty questions.

The contract of a civil union is haunted by if / then contingencies and amendments. But a Holy union is not simply a contract. Marriage is a covenant which has no contingencies nor amendments and says, in effect; that no mater what happens in our lives we will be there for one another with Christ as our focal point. It is not complicated by the legalese and escape hatches created by man for his own comfort and self interests. True Christian marriage allows for no pre-nuptial agreement. Marriage is not a union preemptable by what might after time, become more convenient or easy. Marriage in other words, is an eternal agape love built on sacrifice, paid for in blood and lived by faith in the One that called for and sealed the marriage.

In our fast food, no fault divorce culture, we find people that are hurting because they have either been sold the bill of goods that they can never be forgiven for divorce; or because they have no understanding of what marriage is and thus roll conveniently from one civil union to another with all the heart break and devastation that inevitably follows. Allow me to assure any that may be on either side of this heart break, that neither is divorce unforgivable NOR is marriage to be taken lightly or entered into without genuine Biblical understanding. As much as God hates divorce, He loves the divorcee and longs for a truly Holy relationship in that person’s life.

Yes, marriage has been sanctified by God and made Holy in the physical and spiritual union that takes place between those that love the Lord and have been called according to His purpose